Recovering from Stress and Burnout
You’ve achieved a lot… and worked hard to do it.
It’s what you do…
You thrive on striving for what’s next, and you savor personal and professional success.
And you’ve earned it… through work and experience. You are not lucky, and you haven’t had it easy. You’re smart… and you worked hard.
You put in the late-night hours, picked up the extra shifts, and took the bulk of the responsibility on the group projects in college. Years of going the extra mile, scared to take time off, denying when you are sick, showing up on no sleep, and still offering to do more.
You gave up precious time with your family to be a stand-out employee. Yet working on getting everything done when the kids are sleeping so that you can leave work early to attend a field trip.
Always with a focus on the next thing, climbing the ladder.
So, here you are… success!
But to stay here, you have to endure crushing pressure.
There’s the fear of failing…
The wondering if you’ve done enough…
The terrifying prospect that someone will find out you don’t really belong where you are…
The worry of others’ judgment that your self-worth depends on validation from other people…
And suddenly, the ladder seems more like a hamster wheel……
Everyone tells you how confident you look.
You just wish you felt that way.
On the inside, you are shaking. It feels like precariously juggling fine dinnerware while riding a unicycle. Your heart jumps into your throat when someone calls your name. “What did I do wrong? Did they finally find out? Is it all over?”
You swallow the lump in your throat and realize you haven’t been caught yet. If you just work harder, then nobody will find out. Breathe. Then promise yourself to work extra hard on the next project.
Jumpy, fearful, anxious, low self-esteem.
You are short-tempered with your family at home, have difficulty relaxing, and might not even be sleeping well anymore. The world gets the best, and your family gets the rest. What is the rest?
Irritability, decreased libido, fatigue, cynicism, guilt….
Stress, burnout, and perfectionism are symptoms of a culture that values power over people. Feeling the pressure and fear of rejection, we create masks and suits of armor to make sure that nobody can see a flaw, or a crack, or anything that would suggest that we are not (gasp!) perfect.
Those suits of armor work well to keep us diligently running on the hamster wheel, isolated and longing for connection. Feeling like “nobody really knows me.”
Postponing joy for when it is “safe.”
“Once I get the promotion, I will be able to relax and spend more time at home… Once I get the cleaning done, then I can take a break… Once the kids are in school, then I can take a vacation… Once the kids are sleeping, then I can be intimate with my partner… Once I finish grad school, then I will feel accomplished.”
“Once” comes and goes, but do you keep your word to yourself? Do you have your own back? Or is it just too… risky?
You are not broken, crazy, or a fraud!
Although this world of “not enough” can sure get us thinking that way.
You see it all around you. Messages that tell you that you are not enough. It’s advertising 101: if you get this new shiny thing, you will feel whole, beautiful, and complete.
Women are relentlessly targeted for this advertising, from beauty standards to being a good mother or a good wife to being smart enough and strong enough to be in the professional world. It is ingrained in us to look outside ourselves to tell us what we need to feel whole. So, no – you are not crazy for feeling not enough when all the messages tell you just that.
The thing is this:
It’s all BULLSHIT.
You are already whole, beautiful, and complete. The jig is up.
It’s time to take a pause!
It’s time to find peace, calm, and security within your mind and body.
It’s time to stop looking outside of yourself to see if you are whole.
It’s time to start trusting yourself.
You need this…
You can do it…
And I’m here to help!
Here’s what we’ll do…
Connecting to your authentic self…
Take off your mask and armor and stop hiding from the world and yourself. We’ll do this by exploring your core values, beliefs, strengths, principles, and opinions. Not what the world has told you, not what might have been modeled to you, but what you truly feel, think, and believe.
When you are in tune with your authentic self, you will learn to trust yourself to have your back, to show up for you when you make promises to yourself. You will learn to follow through on intentions, rid yourself of those old feelings of urgency, and alleviate stress and burnout.
Accepting yourself separate from your achievements…
You will learn to identify and celebrate your achievements as YOU define them rather than as the world defines them and learn to see them separate from you. Your worth is inherent – it always exists. Achievements come and go. You set goals informed by your values and set intentions around day-to-day life. Learn that how you live your life in the day-to-day moments is living. Achievements are just the celebrations that punctuate your goals – transforming from urgency to calm.
Matching your internal experience to your external appearance…
“I just want to feel the confidence that everyone else sees.”
Confidence is something that we all want. We want to capture it, keep hold of it, and use it whenever needed. Confidence comes when you realize that you are capable of great things but are also open to learning what you do not yet know.
Cultivate curiosity about fears and rejection, learn that those feelings do not define who you are, and result from settling into humility. Confidence and humility are best friends. This is the sweet spot from which you can access your values with ease and allow them to guide your daily decisions.
You will feel whole. No mask, just integrity. You – authentically.
Let’s work together to dig deeper…
Maybe you’ve been to therapy in the past or have learned some skills to cope…
But you keep finding yourself in the same old pattern of self-doubt, care-taking, and people-pleasing to armor up, resulting in complete burnout.
If you are a high-achieving professional woman looking to free yourself from the unrelenting stress of perfectionism and self-criticism…
Let’s schedule a free consultation and talk about how I can help.